


Like Coffee and Sex

by Prrrrmm



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Gladnis, I'm sorry I don't know what this is, M/M, Promptis - Freeform, They get ready to do the do, and by stuff I mean coffee, but stuff kinda interferes, hints of smut??, honestly I was inspired by a conversation about Ignis's coffee consumption, the second chapter is nothing like the first though so, there may even be a third chapter, theres def a bj in this now though so, this was supposed to be a funny thing and then it kinda got out of hand?, update??? on what was supposed to be a oneshot??? what?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-02-22 23:42:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13177707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prrrrmm/pseuds/Prrrrmm
Summary: Being innovative in the bedroom is usually a good thing. Usually.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Recipeh_for_Success](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Recipeh_for_Success/gifts).



> I honestly wish I could say "Oh this is the first fic that I've written in years", but it isn't. I just normally do not post them. And normally I don't do fics like this?? But here it is, and here I am.

Ignis was tired. So very tired. To say that it was a long day rarely held any meaning for him anymore. The days were not long, it was life that was long and there was not quite enough time for all the coffee he needed to drink. Which is why Ignis often found himself in ridiculous situations such as this.

It had started innocently he supposed, though if he was going to be honest, (Ignis rarely lied) he knew this would happen. Gladio had come over, all smiles and muscles. Ignis knew what this was about and though he could use the quick romp to blow some steam and a load, he insisted on dinner first. One must always have carbohydrates to fuel the sex after all. This still left the problem of needing approximately three more cups of coffee before bed.

Though he may be smart, sometimes Ignis was far too smart to come up with the stupid ideas needed to get something done. Although some ideas are better left untested.

“A sippy cup?” Ignis has asked, incredulous as he held the green cup up with obvious distaste. Gladio shrugged, his grin even more smarmy than it had been before Ignis has seen his gift.

“Gladio, I will not use a sippy cup while you are, and please forgive my brashness it has been a long day, balls deep in my ass.”

Gladio only raised a singular eyebrow allowing Ignis to his own decision. Ignis mulled between staying up late for coffee as he was known to do or trying to kill two birds with one stone. The thought of not having sex did not cross his mind,one did not deny either men their physical pleasures.

Never let it be said that Ignis was not daring or adventurous because in the end, he found himself pouring six fluid ounces of coffee into the sippy cup. Not even half of his usual amount that he would drink, but he would try it once for his lover. And for his caffeine intake.

Ignis quickly tightened the top and bounced the cup from hand to hand as he made his way to his bedroom. Gladio was already there collapsed on the bed, waiting impatiently on his side.

“It’s too hot to hold, Gladio.” Ignis muttered as he settled beside the man, propping himself up on an elbow. He would have complained further, but his mouth quickly became occupied with the others tongue. Ignis allowed himself to relax into Gladio’s hold, sighing into the kiss. Gladio was aggressive, crude and just a little cocksure at times but Astrals he was a fantastic kisser and Ignis would fight anyone who said different. However the magical moment was cut short by Ignis’s palm feeling like it was quite literally on fire.

He pulled away, glaring at the insufferable sippy cup before switching it to his other hand and popping the straw out to take a swig. Immediately the cup was down a fourth of the way. He glared once more at it, before Gladio’s deep sigh forced him to look up.

“Come one Iggy, we can't stop every three seconds for you to get a drink.”

Ignis rolled his eyes, choosing not to point out that this had been Gladio’s idea in the first place and instead rolled onto his back. “Then as much as I love foreplay, let us begin in earnest. I want to drink my coffee please.”

Ignis settled down into his pillows, allowing Gladio to do all the work needed to make this magic happen. If Gladio hated that he was a bit of a pillow princess, the larger man never complained. Perhaps he understood that this was one of the few times that Ignis was a hundred percent comfortable handing over the control to another. Ignis took this time of pleasant stretching and love to set the sippy cup beside him on the bed. It burned his shoulder through the plastic, not painfully as it had been doing to his palm but almost enough to make him wonder if this was a kink he had never explored. It was a thought for Future Ignis, right now Gladio was lining up and snapping his hips in a smooth motion. Oh, this was good yes. But what would make this better was sitting beside him. Ignis waited until Gladio’s mouth was occupied nipping his ribs, he was polite if nothing else, to grab the cup.

Tilting it to his mouth for a quick sip, Ignis screamed as scorching hot magma coffee spilt across his bare chest. Flinging the sippy cup across the room, he sat up hitting his head against Gladio’s nose. Groaning with a hand to his forehead, Ignis pulled a double chin face to look down at his red chest.

Gladio immediately pulled out and holding a hand to his bleeding nose, tried to assess the situation the best he could. It wasn’t good frankly. “That’s going to be a bitch to explain to everyone.” He said. Ignis only responded with a glare as he gingerly tried to roll off of his bed, hissing as the sippy cup leaked more of the hot drink onto his pristine sheets.

Standing naked in his bathroom, Ignis was cleaning the coffee from his chest the best he could, going around the quickly forming blisters when Gladio came in.

He grinned sheepishly as he stood awkwardly in the doorway. “I threw your sheets in the wash.”

Ignis didn’t answer, only turned and raised an eyebrow knowing the man would understand what it meant. “Don’t give me that look! That’s the look you give Noctis and Prompto. I didn’t know that hot liquids shouldn’t go in a sippy cup, okay? Honestly, they should put a warning sticker on there warning about gushing liquids from the sides. It’s not my fault.”

Ignis continued to stare until Gladio shifted his weight from one foot to the other and then went back to tending his tender wounds. He applied burn cream to his chest and sighed. This really was going to be hard to explain to the others. Ignis? Spilling coffee? Unheard of.

“I have a question. How can you drink something so hot? Especially if it’s hot enough to do that to you?”

Perhaps Ignis had always been quick to forgive Gladio, this time was no different. “My mouth is used to hot things being in it.”

Gladio sputtered out a strangled laugh before he hesitantly began to speak. “I, uh, have another sippy cup we can try. A different kind if you want. It probably won’t spill all over you.”

“Absolutely not. I must sadly confess that I need this coffee more than I need your dick. I am not going to try that again. Next time, we drink our coffee and then have sex.”

They were a world weary couple sleeping on new sheets that night, sad to know that sometimes things were amazing together like peanut butter and jelly. And somethings were never meant to be paired together, like coffee and sex.


	2. Quickie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Noctis and Prompto are wrong, but they have the right idea about what to do.

“Hey Prom. You think Iggy and Gladio are banging?” There was a sleepy groan and then a blond head was propping itself up on an arm. Prompto regarded Noctis for a second before giving in.

“Alright, why do you ask?” Prompto felt rather than saw Noctis shrug in the dim lighting of his room. 

“I dunno, just today I noticed that Ignis was wearing a loose shirt and he always wears tight shirts? So that was weird. Then I noticed that he was being really careful not to let anything touch his chest.”

Prompto hummed thoughtfully, “You think he got his nipples pierced? Kinky.” 

A laugh filled the room, too loud for how late it was. Not that there was anyone there to actually care.. “You got it done first Prom.”

“Yea, but everyone knows it was because  _ you’re  _ kinky. Plus, I think we can agree the tongue piercing is way better.” Prompto laughed too before squirming closer to be curled up beside Noct. He sighed happily when he felt Noctis throw his arm around his waist and tighten. “What about Gladio? How do you know Ig’s isn’t just with someone else?”

“See I thought that too but like, who is Ignis going to hook up with? He’s around us and stuffy politicians all day.” 

Prompto wrinkled his nose, “Unless he’s hooking up with a stuffy politician. Ew. Nah, you have more on Gladio right?”

“Of course. I straight up asked him if he was having sex with Ignis and I swear to the six, he blushed.”

“You’re lying.” Prompto laughed. “There is no way in hell that Gladio is even capable of blushing.” Noct’s breathing was on the back of his neck, close and warm,  and Prompto couldn’t help the sigh that escaped him. 

“I’ve never lied in my entire life.” Noctis said.

“You’re lying literally right now.” 

“Maybe so.”

Prompto rolled over onto his other side to press a kiss onto Noctis’s collar bone with a laugh. “It’s ok, I still love you dude.”

A groan and then, “Don’t call me dude after you say I love you, it ruins it.”

“Whatever you say. How about, I love you...buddy?”

Another groan and then Noctis was looking down at Prompto with a stern look. “No.”

Prompto smiled sweetly and he saw Noctis’s lips twitch into a smile and Prompto knew he won. He surged up and kissed Noctis, more of a grin than anything. 

“I thought you were tired.” Noctis said breathing a little more quick than he had been moments before.

Prompto hummed then kissed him deeper, “Never for this.”

Rolling Prompto onto his back, Noctis began to lavish kisses down his chest, smiling when he heard Prompto laugh when he got to his ticklish ribs. Noctis kissed every freckle he could get his mouth on before Prom was pushing him down gently. “No teasing tonight Noct.” He whined. 

Noctis rolled his eyes and settled between Prompto’s parted legs. 

“Hey, why does it matter if Iggy and Gladio sleep together?” Prompto asked, then gasped as Noctis took him into his mouth. Noctis knew what Prompto liked and was a good attentive lover, but after a few moments he pulled back with a quiet pop. Prompto whined at the loss but stopped when Noctis started talking again. 

“I’m thinking that if Ignis sees us together, he can’t say anything.”

Prompto regarded him with lidded eyes and a heaving chest. It was obvious that he wanted Noctis to continue but then the implications of the statement became clear to him. If Prompto looked turned on before, it was nothing to the way he looked at Noctis then. 

“We can have sex whenever we want dude.”

Noctis answered with a flash of a grin before beginning again, slow and teasing. After all, they could really take their time now couldn’t they?

**Author's Note:**

> SO. Yes. That was a thing that I wrote and you read and now we are all very awkward. Hopefully you enjoyed it because I sadly only ever upload my serious fics on here. But, this was written for one of my very best friends who like everyone sometimes goes through some funk. I wanted to write something to make her smile and when it did, she suggested that I upload it so maybe other's will smile too.  
> FYI, yes smarmy is a word and do I think Ignis is a pillow princess? Not really. But I needed him to chill for like three seconds so I could unfortunately hurt him. Also, yes. Sippy cups gush when you put something hot in it. This was tested and my hands were in a lot of pain afterwards. So heads up on that in case you were thinking of perhaps using a sippy cup in bed. Don't try this at home folks.  
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
